Healing within Me

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

For those of you who have been following my blog for more than a year or so, you've probably been wondering where in the world I've been! Yes, I've been putting up a post now and then as well as my weekly blog link-up, Sharing His Beauty. But, for the most part I've been rather silent, I know. I’m sorry about that…I've been in a bit of a slump ever since last October. I’m coming out of it now, but any of you who are mothers know that a mother’s heart will always grieve for her children who are lost. It has been very difficult to get through this time of sorrow, but God has been carefully and tenderly healing my heart. He has blessed me greatly over the past year and has shown me His love in many ways, including through new friends that I've met through this rather neglected blog. I still have my low days when I ache for my daughter, but I am trusting God for His plan in this. My greatest prayer is that she returns to the Lord, whether God chooses to bring her back into my life or not.

As for me, I just want to be myself again! By nature, I’m a positive person who loves to bring encouragement to others. However, I've felt like a stranger for months, barely recognizing the girl I once was. I am only now beginning see familiar bits of my personality slowly returning. Thank you for bearing with me during this time. 


I was just reminded this morning that God is preparing me for something. I know He will use every pain and every sorrow in some positive way, for God never, ever wastes a hurt. I have dreams for my future…things I want to do to serve Him, but for a long time now; those dreams have seemed unattainable due to my broken heart. But this morning, I was encouraged to lay my dreams on the table and ask the Father to breathe His life on them and to remember that those desires and dreams in my heart are there because He wants to use me for His purposes. Oh what joy that would be! I would love to feel productive again…and to know that my offerings to Him were received with rejoicing!

I just began an online Bible study called, “You Are Loved” by Sally Clarkson and Angela Perritt.  The first memory verse shared in it is one of my all-time favorite verses.

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17

Those words are a soothing balm to my aching heart. My God is with me and He will save me! No matter what happens in my life, no matter who does or doesn't love me, God loves me! And He loves me so much that He is actually singing songs over me. Isn't that amazing? I am so thankful for His love and the healing He is doing within me. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me and for my family. I so appreciate your faithfulness to this little blog and to our friendship. I am continuing to place my faith in Him.

In His grip,

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25 comments

  1. Oh sweet friend, I love how you shared your heart here . . . opening up to allow others to come along side of you and keep you in their prayers. I'm always holding you close in my prayers. That verse from Zephaniah 3:17 is one I've been sharing as one of my favorites recently. I do just love the thought of Him rejoicing over us in song. Gives me goosebumps. Love you. God loves you. <3

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  2. That is an amazing verse, Joan!! I don't remember ever reading it before. My heart aches in the same way yours does for a lost child (I go thru ups and downs too- especially when I see or talk to him on the phone, my heart breaks all over again), yet I see how already God is working in and through your life. You have encouraged me so many times! Praying for you, sweet friend!!

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  3. Thank you, Beth! His love is such a comfort and has carried me through some difficult times. I know that I can always count on Him to be with me!


    Love, Joan

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  4. We are so special to God...so special that He actually rejoices over us! That's amazing, isn't it? I know I am never alone for He is with me. I have nothing to fear because He loves me...And that makes all the difference, doesn't it?


    Blessings, Joan

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  5. Oh Joan so good to have you back. When our heart aches it is hard to trust that God is working. Praying that Jesus will lift your spirits so that the Holy Spirit will flow with Living Water; that you may be strengthened and that you will see Him in every little part of your day.
    Blessings,
    Janis
    Following you from Shelley Hendrick's #recommendsat

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  6. Thank you, Janis! I know what you mean about sometimes it being hard to trust that God is working. However, He has proved Himself over and over...I know His character and I know He has wonderful plans for us! What a blessing it is to be loved by Him!

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  7. I love that verse Joan. With His love He calms our fears. Even the fear of being unloved. You know I share your pain . . . but through it all we can claim His goodness. Thanks for sharing your heart and your journey. What an encouragement. {{hugs}}

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  8. I love you so. Sending heart hugs. <3

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  9. Oh Joan, I do know of your heartache. And I am glad to hear that God is bringing some sort of healing comfort to your heart. May He do a mighty work in your daughter's life. And may He restore your dreams, and make His purposes come alive!


    GOD BLESS!

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  10. Hi Deb! Yes, there is the fear of being unloved and the fear of the pain that accompanies that. But, like you, I am so grateful that nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God!


    Blessings, Joan

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  11. Thanks, Shelly! <3 You always say just the right thing!

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  12. Thank you, Sharon! That is my prayer as well...that God will do a mighty work in her life. I am trusting Him for that! Blessings, Joan

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  13. Hi Joan, I'm here with your reminder to link up at CMB. :-) Enjoy a wonderful weekend.

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  14. Ooooh! Thanks for the reminder! I'll put a link-back on this post, too!


    Blessings, Joan

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  15. It is difficult to let go and let God hold our children! I understand how it hurts when we see them making mistakes that we are not able to change for them. God in his wisdom gave us each a free will and for some it is a stubborn will. I pray for you and also for your daughter for wisdom and eyes of understanding. You are a neighbor at Spiritual Sundays

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  16. Isn't it, though? Thank you for your prayers and blessings to you, Hazel!


    Trusting Him, Joan

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  17. I love that verse, too. The truth is almost too big for me to grasp. I've walked this journey with a friend and it's a hard one. I'm adding your daughter to my prayer list -- along with her dear mother. God is living among us -- that mean where your daughter is, too!

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  18. Hi Joan, I know your pain and I will be praying for you. I left you a private message on google+.

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  19. Thank you, Pamela! I'm so glad that God is by our side!


    Blessings, Joan

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  20. Hi Janis! Thank you for your prayers...I'll hop over to Google+ and read your message now...thank you.


    Blessings, Joan

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  21. Hi Joan - Praying for you & for your daughter. May God bring back to her remembrance everything she heard & learned about Him. May God raise up those who love Him in her path to show her the love of God. May God infuse you with strength & courage to hold onto the truth that He is able to do all things. All.

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  22. There is purpose in the pain. While not the same pain, I have experienced some of my own and I am thankful that God is faithful to use us for His glory despite it. I am praying for you my friend. I cannot imagine that ache in your heart. Hugs!

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  23. Thank you for that beautiful prayer! It is mine as well...


    Blessings, Joan

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  24. Just this morning I was reminded that God never wastes a hurt. God, in His infinite wisdom can work all things out for the good of His purpose. He's amazing like that! I am trusting Him for I know He knows all about this and knows what is for the best...


    Blessings, Joan

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