Asking The Right Question

Monday, January 23, 2017

My summer blogging break turned into quite the never-ending summer!  After 7 months, I am finally back here at The Beauty in His Grip!  I can hardly believe how quickly those months have flown by. So many wonderful things have happened in the time I've been away and the best thing of all has been God's continued presence in my life!  He is continually showing me His beauty and encouraging me in my faith.  In the coming months I'll be sharing more, but today I want to tell you about one of the things I have been doing.  I have recently begun leading a private online support group about grief and loss. I get so excited when God teaches me something that I want, no... I need to share it! So, over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some of those lessons in this space as well as in my small group.  The series is called "The Courage to Heal", and will be focusing on the lessons I've learned on my own journey from loss to healing.  I'd love it if you'd follow along here at The Beauty in His Grip!

Whatever loss you have experienced, I’m guessing that one of the questions you’ve asked yourself is, “Why did God allow this to happen?”  That is a natural thing to wonder.  I have learned, though, that God doesn’t always answer that particular question.  Sometimes the answer is hidden from our view on this side of heaven. I have gone around and around in my mind, driving myself crazy with frustration as I sought the illusive answer.  Then, I finally discovered there was a better question to ask, a question I felt confident God would answer: “What are you wanting to teach me through this, Lord?” 

Following the rejection of our daughter, I had to have the courage to trust God.  Rather than keep wondering why things happened the way they did, and why God allowed this huge and painful loss into my life, I needed to learn to trust that God had a plan…and part of His plan was to somehow grow me. 

Over the years since I last saw my daughter and my heart was shattered, I have learned that God understands me.  He understands the depth of my pain and how it felt, and sometimes still feels, as palatable as if I were kicked in the gut.  He understands what I'm feeling, for He was rejected, too. 

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, 

He’ll help you catch your breath.” Psalm 34:18, Msg.

Through my loss, He is maturing my faith.  He has helped me to catch my breath because I know I can count on Him to be by my side. He is always right there, right in the middle of whatever I’m feeling.  I’ve learned that I can trust Him.  And, when I trust Him, the question of “why” fades into the background.  Today, I am still growing and I am welcoming His healing hands on my heart.  Each day is a new day and I am trusting God and His plan.

Asking the right question, Joan

Today's Questions in The Courage to Heal Series:
Have you struggled to find the answer as to why your loss occurred?  Have you felt angry or disillusioned?  When you change your question from “why” to “what” can you see any areas in your life and faith-walk where God is growing you?  Let’s share in the comments below!

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15 comments

  1. Lovely to hear from you again dear Joan!
    I am glad you will be writing about grief and loss because God has helped you through this most difficult and painful loss and you will be able to help many with the help you yourself have received. have shared this post as I know a number who are grieving.
    Love and prayers for blessings flowling freely in your life. Mary G,

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    1. Thank you, Mary! It does feel good to be writing again! God is so good and He's helped me so much! I pray that the lessons He's taught me will be a help to others who may be suffering. Blessings to you!

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  2. Yay1 Welcome back! My post for Wednesday is about getting through grief on sad anniversaries. What a blessing that God put us together those years ago to share this journey. I'd love to know more about your group. God's blessings, my friend!

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    1. Hi Deb! I'll have to check out your post on Wednesday! I love how we can all learn from each other! When I think back to when this first occurred, I so remember your encouragement! You are a blessing!

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    2. P.S. I sent you a FB message...

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  3. Beautiful to read your blog this morning! It is amazing how He brings beauty out of ashes and draws us so close to Him. I see that in you. Thank you!

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    1. Thanks, Valerie! It really IS amazing how he does that..."He makes everything beautiful in His time." Ecc. 3:11 Sometimes it can seem difficult to see. But, when we trust Him we can be sure He will reveal it in His perfect timing.

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  4. Welcome back, Joan. Hope your break was refreshing. :) I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with your daughter. ((hug)) It's so hard when familial relationships aren't what they should be. We have a similar situation in our family. You're right though...God cares and understands. ((blessings))

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    1. Thanks, Brenda! It feels good to be back! I am so thankful for God's love. "He binds the open wounds and heals the brokenhearted..." (Ps. 147:3)
      Blessings!!

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  5. Joan, so glad to see you back. We have a similar heartache in our family. I suppose many of us do. Thanks for being transparent about yours. I'm sure your group is a huge blessings to many! I look forward to all you have to share as you get back to blogging. Blessings!

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    1. Hi Donna! It is so difficult what many families face. However, I believe that when we come together as sisters-in-Christ with support, encouragement and love, we are honoring God. He'll heal us when we look to Him!

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  6. Joan, I agree with you. The right question is: "What are you trying to teach me through this?"God does meet us in our pain. He brought healing to our family after the loss of our son.

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    1. Hi Carol! I am so sorry you lost your son -- what a painful experience to endure. Grief is a terrible thing, but I am so thankful that God comforts us in our sorrow and heals our broken hearts! Thank you for sharing that your family has been healed...it brings hope to those who are only beginning that journey.

      Blessings, Joan

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  7. Joan, my heart smiled big time when I saw your blog appear on my FB feed! So good to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your heart. I can see this being applied in so many ways! Thank u for reminding me to ask God the "what" question and not the "why." He'll reveal the why in His timing. He so wants us to join Him in the what!! We have so much to learn! Love ya, Dori ❤

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    1. Hi Dori! Once I stopped asking "why" and started asking God the "what", I discovered that God uses all situations for His purpose. Though the circumstance may not be what we would have chosen, we can trust that God will always bring some good from it! Thanks for stopping by here! I always love hearing from you! Love & blessings, Joan

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